If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
