please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
