I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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