Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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