yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
