My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
