it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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