I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Two words: blizzard sex
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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