Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
