We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
