Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
