You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
