i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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