There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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