Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
