whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
