I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
