I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
being pregnant is like rehab
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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