You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
