this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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