I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
