In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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