yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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