have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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