We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
