She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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