is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
