Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I got inside last night via doggy door
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
