Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize