I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
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We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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