Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
