So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
