did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
