Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I would fuck him just for his dog
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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