So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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