I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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