Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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