I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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