Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
