She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
