Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
