Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
