I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
