so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
