Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
