Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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