She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize