I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize