butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
