Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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