My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
