Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
