fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
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He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
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I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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