Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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