They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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