Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize