I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
