I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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