i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
