You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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