You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
