so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
