Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
