I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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