turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
