at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
