I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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