To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
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i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
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One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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