its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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